The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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