every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
