Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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