And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
