Your mouth is God's brothel.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
