Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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