come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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