i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
