Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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