Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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