the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
