And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
