i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
