I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
