we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
