The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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