plz talk dirty to me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
