I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
