youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish I only lived at night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
