Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My ass is underappreciated
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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