Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
