He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
