Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love having hate sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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