Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
