That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
