Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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