Ambien. No doubt about it.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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