Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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