I showed him my bush... on skype.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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