He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
