I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
