does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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