i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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