So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
