and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, beer. Big fan.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
