the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
