did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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