In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
