mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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