watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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