Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
