dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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