I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
