I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
