I need help removing her.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
