I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
