wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
