The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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