I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
