you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
