your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
